Nicholas.

We just fostered a kitten named Nicholas for 2 weeks.
It was quite the whirlwind experience, and nothing like what I expected.
So before my memories of him drift away with the winds of time, I wanted to write them down. 

This is the story of Nicholas.

One day when I was a little girl I asked my mom about my name.

Why is my first name Stephanie?
Your great grandmother's name is Stephana. We wanted to name you after her.
Ok - well why is my middle name Nicole?
And the story began....

When my mom was pregnant with me, it never crossed her mind to find out the gender until she gave birth.


When she was pregnant with my older brother she just knew it was a boy. Call it motherly instinct but she was positive about her prediction and named him Ben before he was even born.

So when she got pregnant with me shortly after, she again chose to not find out the sex.
And again, she was convinced it was a boy. She was confident that sometime in December she would give birth to a curly brown haired boy and name him Nicholas.

All throughout her pregnancy with me, she would talk to her belly and refer to it as Nicholas.

So when I was born you can imagine the shock and surprise when it was a brown haired girl!
What's neat is my mom actually had a tape recorder on during my birth. I listened to it once and although you cannot see her face, you can hear the pure shock in her voice:

"Doctor: aaand... it's a GIRL!!
Mom: Oh!? Oh!... Oh wow...she...she looks just like me! SHE looks like ME!"

Pleasantly surprised but not wanting to let go of the idea of Nicholas she held for 9 months, she made my middle name Nicole.

It was because of this story that growing up my mother always told me that I would have a Nicholas in my life. Husband, best friend, child....somehow she knew a Nicholas would show up in my life and leave a lasting imprint on my heart.

__________________




My whole life I have loved animals. I resonate with them on such a deep level.
I've always wanted to volunteer at shelters but the overwhelming sensation of grief, sadness and anger that crashes into me every time I walk into a shelter kept me away.

Flash forward to 2011. I got my first 'real job' out of college working for a large business.
I walk into my first 'real meeting' excited like Yeah! I did it! Got my business degree now I get to talk business with experienced people. Sweet.

But as I sat down in this board room a lump grew in my throat.
Maybe I'm nervous?
No, I feel prepared.

hmm....

Then about 5 minutes into the meeting my mind wandered away from the topic at hand and it hit me like a ton of bricks.
Here I am in this fancy room all nice and warm, sheltered from the elements outside.

Abundance of food and clean water at my fingertips.
Talking about how we can maximize profit for an already multi billion dollar business...

All the while there are animals being tortured, homeless, neglected...all over the damn place. Probably right  down the road. And here I was doing absolutely nothing about it. 

My eyes swelled up and I was immediately questioning every choice I made in the past 5 years.

 This is not how my heart dreams of spending my days.

Ever since that day I've made more of an effort to spend my free time educating people on the importance of spay/neuter, adopting instead of shopping, and I even worked with the Humane Society of the United States on a Meatless Monday project urging school systems all over the country to not serve meat on Mondays.

And now here I am. 27 and living in the South, a part of the country notorious for animal abuse and over crowded high kill shelters. I promised myself that when I buy a house with land, it will be packed with rescue cats and dogs. I hold that word... just watch.

But again, I start to feel like there's more I can do.
Right now.
And I need to just do it.

So after Christmas I took a class at my local shelter on becoming a foster parent to homeless cats and dogs.
I work from home so I thought it would be perfect.

I had no idea that a few days after my class I would receive my first case. I thought these things took time!

When I arrived at the shelter the following Monday night to pick him up, I knew I was fostering a kitten but had no idea how many or who I would be receiving. As I walked in and told the lady I was a foster parent here to pick up a kitten she walked me into the kitten room - cages full of kittens crying and reaching their paws out through the cage. She wasn't sure which one I would be taking and she couldn't reach the shelter manager to ask her because her phone died. So I reached out to her on Facebook and within seconds a message popped up:

You will be taking home Nicholas!

This boy.
Stealin' hearts and rippin' farts.


As soon as he arrived at our apartment he was ready to play with every object in sight and snuggle on our laps when he wore himself out.

Although our 2 full grown cats were hesitant (and pissed) about him at first, it wasn't long before he won their hearts over and became one of the tribe.

I never thought that I would get so attached to an animal in just two short weeks.
I went into this understanding that it was strictly business.
Especially since I knew that at the end of my time with him, Nicholas would be going to his forever home to live his life happily ever after.

But the love we humans have for animals runs so deep.

Love is the basis of everything. Of life. And there are many types...
The love we have for our parents is one type. The love we have for our boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses is another. And the love we have for our children is completely different than those two.
All strong, passionate, and different in their own way.

But then there's the love we have for our 4 legged friends.

So strong that it can crack the hardest heart and let light shine through.
Or break your heart so deeply that you avoid animals all together out of fear of ever feeling that type of overwhelming grief again.

But it's so blissfully beautiful.
How unconditionally they love you back.
I mean, it's a love where you know they will never intentionally or accidentally hurt you or break your heart. It's the purest form of love out there....

Nicholas snuggled up close with me every night.

He ate popcorn and watched movies with me. He made me laugh so many times at how wild he would get to the point of chasing his own tail.

I hurt my back from sitting so still in my office chair while holding his fuzzy little sleeping body, head nuzzled in my neck, just so I wouldn't wake him up.

And it became a morning routine to open the dishwasher all the way as I was cleaning dishes after breakfast just so he could climb in and explore.
Every time.


One of the sweetest things about my time with Nicholas was witnessing his first look into the outside world. I perched him up on the ledge of the window and watched him go still as he felt the warm beam of bright morning sun. Then open his eyes to watch in complete astonishment a flock of birds fly overhead.

 Having lived in a cage with no windows for his whole 8 weeks of life, this was really moving to watch.
Not sure who enjoyed it more: Me or Nicholas
:)

So you can imagine the pain that overtook me this morning when we had to return him to the shelter. As I held him tight and gave him one last kiss on the whiskers, I felt my heart break into a million pieces and blanket the ground around my feet. This was my boy.

The way the tears rolled down my cheeks as I waved goodbye to his little face looking  back at mine behind the bars of a cat carrier, you would think I was at a funeral.

I don't know what this sweet boy's future holds. But I can only hope it involves lots of unconditional love and plenty of dishwashers to climb into. It would make my life to see him touch grass for the first time.

While my heart aches that I cannot keep him forever, Nicholas has been a blessing in disguise.
The shelter loved my photos of him so much, that they actually invited me to come on board as their photographer!

I started this past weekend and absolutely love every part of it. While I still get hit with heavy energy every time I walk into the shelter, as soon as I get behind the camera I'm able to let it go.
I'm doing this work to help these animals look their best and find forever homes.
Using art to make a difference. I would have never thought I would be that lucky.


And as I watched Mitch pull away to bring Nicholas to his next chapter of life, I called my mom to cry.
She said:
I always knew there'd be a Nicholas in your life....

_____________________________



Before I sign off here, there's one more interesting twist to this story.

If you're an avid reader of this online diary of mine, you might remember that this past June I wrote about my 2 year anniversary trip out in the Blue Ridge Mountains.


And you might remember this moment....

Happy: "So, what did you write?"
Me: "Change the world and Save Animals"
Happy: "Give it 6-8 months and you'll be on your way."


7 months later:

New Hampshire

The little granite state of New Hampshire nestled way up in the Northeast, will forever hold a place in my heart. A big place. It's where I morphed from a child to an adult, met some of the most amazing people, where I graduated college, and most importantly where I met my husband.

Sometimes I catch myself thinking how crazy it is that I once called that place home. Although it's only been a little over 2 years, it feels like I never lived there at all. It was the longest chapter of my life yet in hindsight, the shortest. It went by so fast- it feels like it was but a beautiful dream...

Maybe it's because my soul was born in the Midwest/South. As soon as I moved to South Carolina I instantly recognized the sounds, the smells, the weather. I felt at home again, like I picked up right where I left off back in '98 when I left Southern Indiana to move to New England.

I get jealous of people who were born and raised in one place and know exactly where their home is. People who have their entire family in one town and have a solid routine. But then, they've never experienced new places and different faces. Different landscapes, different weather, wilder sunsets, interesting animals and accents...and then the jealousy dissolves into gratitude. This gypsy life of mine, it's so full.

My week in New Hampshire was no different than my life as a whole. I spent every day in a different part of the state. Sometimes I was in the mountains eating wild blueberries and playing with dwarf ponies..

... other times I was at my brother's place near the coast visiting UNH and playing on a farm

Most of the time, though, you could find me in a quiet lake doing my favorite Summer activity:
Kayaking.

Yakin'.
When I lived up there, my family and I used to be out in the boats every single weekend. Fishing, exploring, you name it. We had fishing competitions and sat in the middle of a lake during thunderstorms. Out of all the places I've been, it's with ease that I say New Hampshire is the best place to kayak.
So many peaceful, hidden lakes.
My personal favorite is Clough State Park in Weare, NH.

Another favorite spot that's more commercialized yet still stunning is Lake Massabesic in Manchester, NH.
It's the city's water supply so you must be careful not to dip your toes in the water!
It provides classic New England views everywhere you look.

This was my first time experiencing visiting 'home' after a long period of time...you know, sleeping in your old bed, seeing your old pets... it was emotional. Yet fulfilling to look back and know I survived those crazy years of growing up. Of course, what would a visit to mom's be without going through old photos.

My mornings were spent roaming around the backyard with two cats following close behind me, collecting fresh vegetables for breakfast straight from my mom's garden in that bright New Hampshire sun.

Afternoons were spent chasing rainbows (Thanks Shane!) and going on quiet bike rides.

I even surprisingly found a moment of silence to enjoy my last sunset in town..

It was an amazing trip. Since leaving NH and now returning after a couple of years, I see that place through a totally different lens. (All pun intended)
It's beautiful. It's different. It is it's own little world that I feel lucky to have once called home.

One day I hope I'll live within driving distance of my family.
But until then, New Hampshire makes a pretty sweet Summer vacation spot.

And most importantly, to all of my friends I didn't get to see-- please accept my deepest apology. You know I'm a free spirit; it's hard to wrangle me down. I also failed miserably at estimating how much time I would need up there. Know that you always have a home in the South with a free tour guide.
And, let's be honest, you know I'll be back soon.
;)

In the meantime, I've got storms to chase and juicy peaches to eat!

Hi Carolina. I missed you.

Home, sweet temporary Home.

;)

4th of July

They say as you age, time starts to fly by faster and faster with each passing year.

Guys, it's true.

Did last week even happen? I don't know. It was that fast. I almost feel like it was just a wild dream I had during a Sunday evening nap. 

If you follow me on Instagram (@freespiritfun1), you know I just got back from New Hampshire. I lived in that cold, green state for 15 years. I have a lot of wonderful friends there, and most importantly my mom and brother. It was an eye opening trip and I plan on writing a separate post on that later this week :)


I spent my 4th of July holiday there and it was awesome. I finally taught myself how to do the cool sparkler photos and let's just say it got wild. My brother was the creative genius behind the majority of these photos....he came up with some crazy good ideas for poses!
Like for instance, a cat:

Or a rainbow:

And best of all, a wizard battle!

These photos really aren't as hard as they look, and best of all, they require little to no editing.
I have a Canon Rebel t3i and to create these photos I just needed a good tripod and creative minds.

If you're using a canon, here's some tips:

1. Use the TV mode on Manual Focus. With this, you can adjust the shutter speed and not worry about the camera not taking a photo because it can't focus on anything in the dark. As for shutter speed, it depends on what you're doing. For a simple star or heart, use 5 seconds. For an epic wizard battle, use 15.

2. TRIPOD. This isn't actually a necessity, but with it you'll be guaranteed to get the sharpest flames.

3. Buy a LOT of sparklers. You'll go through them quick trying to get the perfect photo
:)

I hope you had a fun 4th! I'll be back with lots of pictures of the Granite State
:)

And let me know in the comments below if you have any questions about how to take these photos!
I'd love to help

Easter 2015

Happy Easter!!

This Monday isn't so bad since I'm coming off a high from yesterday. Despite not practicing any religion, Easter has always been my favorite holiday. It's so whimsical and fun!

One of my favorite memories from childhood is when one Easter, my mom sneaked a cotton ball from the bathroom and ran around the outside of the house pretending to 'Chase the Easter bunny'

I ran from window to window watching her run laps around the house yelling I'VE ALMOST GOT HIM! Once she was out of breath, she came back inside and handed me the cotton ball and said
'All I got was his tail'

Eyes wide and mouth open, I believed every second of it.

P.S. A delicious Cilantro Avocado Deviled Egg recipe can be found Here.

Even though I'm 26 now, Easter still reigns as my favorite holiday.
But on a more serious note- this Easter I found myself lost in thought. I thought a lot about how I wish I could be with my family. How this life of adventure is so awesome on every day that's not a holiday.
I wondered who will be more excited to hunt Easter eggs: me or my future children?

This chapter of life is quiet. Some days I love it, other days I feel ready for the next challenge/adventure.
I often look at Mitch right in the eyes and say: 'One day, we're going to miss this.'
Like yesterday when it was just us two, sitting outside at a sunny picnic table sipping our homemade coffee in mason jars. No other sounds but the birds and no responsibilities but to chill.

Living in the moment, soaking it all in.


Cheers to a good week!