Destination Wedding: Do's & Dont's

Hey ya'll.
I can say ya'll now since I'm going on 1 year in South Carolina, right? ;)

So now that you know about my love for Key West, it's time you know something else about that wonderful place; I got hitched there. Yes you heard right. I walked down a wooden beach entrance in flip flops, shredding my expensive lace gown with every step I took as it got stuck on wood splinters. My beautiful, perfectly curled long hair immediately went flat when my toes met the sand. I mouthed my vows in 60 mph wind on the beach with sand grinding between my teeth and lips. Glorious day that was.

Anyway.

I've noticed it's a growing trend among us millennials to ditch the traditional church ceremony and opt for a wild, tropical destination shindig. Perhaps we're all becoming free spirits? ;)

One thing you should take note of before deciding on a destination wedding is that it will be a lot different. Like a lot. For instance, you won't be able to taste test food or cake. You won't be able to meet your photographer ahead of time. Sometimes you won't even see your wedding site until a couple days before the big day.
Needless to say, a destination wedding is not for the weak hearted. You need to be able to embrace the unexpected and be very prepared to roll with the punches.
While everyone's experience will be different depending on their budget, location, style, etc... I decided to share my experience with ya'll anyway to hopefully offer some good advice to you future wild newlyweds! Or if you're a seasoned spouse- some laughs at my experience.


On that note I give you:

 

BEFORE THE WEDDING:

• Do:  Arrive at least a couple days early. This is so you can last minute meet with all of your vendors, file for a marriage license, check out the wedding site, drink a margarita or 8 because you're so damn nervous ya know...get situated.
• Don't: Forget to wear sunscreen. Yeah, you guessed it. My spirit was a little too free when I arrived in Key West & I jumped on the back of that moped with a tank top and no SPF like it was my job. Yep I got tan lines on my back and Yes, I had a low cut back in my wedding gown. High 5 right here.
  
  
• Do: Brace yourself for a pain-in-the-ass travel day if your dress is a carry on. I suggest doing this method rather than shipping it because imagine your dress getting lost in the mail a couple of days before your wedding? (Sidenote: I actually originally picked out a completely different dress but it got 'lost in the mail' in China 3 months before my wedding so I was forced to go with the one you see in my photos. PS. Don't shop at Davids Bridal.)  Have you ever held a wedding dress? Darn things weigh as much as a small child. Make sure you have someone to help you out when lugging it through the airport and placing it in the overheads. (Thanks mom) Pretty sure by the last connecting flight down to Key West my dress was scrunched up in the beverage cart next to empty coconut rum bottles.
• Don't : Forget to smile at all of the strangers in the airport who will inevitably wish you well and ask all about your big day. By this point in time you've heard all the advice your mind can possibly take but it's so refreshing to have someone you've never met before wish you luck & be so kind. Even at 6:00AM going through the security line. I loved it. :)
  

*Note: I do not usually look like this at 6:00AM. Adrenaline + tanning beds.

• Do: Your research. I mean read up on all of the laws, regulations and requirements to get married at your destination of choice. Luckily for us Florida's laws are not too strict so all we needed were birth certificates & SS cards. I think the only strict rule was you must get married within 30 days of filing for your license. I know it's a lot different when getting married in a different country, so be prepared well ahead of time! You'd be surprised at some of the laws out there. Blood test... what?
• Don't: Forget to bring every single form of ID you own. Original copies, copies of copies. Bring it all! You never know when the Clerk of Courts is going to ask you for something you left at home and you sure as hell don't want to be without a marriage license the day before your wedding. I think I double checked my purse 8,039 times before our plane took off to make sure I had all of my ID's.
  
  

  

  About an hour of paperwork and being asked 'Are you sure?' 500 times...we got a marriage license

  
  
  
  THE BIG DAY:
  
• Do:  Relax. Everyone tells you this but really. Do yoga, take 20 minutes to yourself and walk around with your iPod, anything you need. You will want to be calm enough to not lose it if the cake arrives 4 minutes late or have an anxiety attack if you misplaced your expensive, only-made-for-your-dress bra. (Who me?) OH and EAT FOOD. This wasn't an issue for me (giant shrimp salad sandwich and fries for brunch, don't mind if I do) but I know sometimes nerves can get the best of your appetite. You certainly don't want to pass out on the beach in front of everyone. (this includes groups of tourists who will be watching and taking pictures as well)
• Don't: Not eat or relax and become a bridezilla on steroids. It's so easy to let our emotions get the best of us when tensions are running high. Trust me, the last thing you want to do is lose it on a loved one on your special day. You don't want that memory to haunt you. When I woke up on the day of my wedding I made sure I acted like it was just a normal day. Mitch and I took the moped to Starbucks and sat slouched in our chairs sipping coffee, not saying much, while Blue Ocean Floor played overhead. We did this for probably a solid hour before we split up to get ready. It was perfect.
  
  
  

  

  5 hours before my wedding. Still wearing a tank top. Still not wearing SPF.
  

  
  

  
  

  
  
  • Do: Enjoy & embrace the wide range of emotions you're going to go through on your big day. Happy to sad. Scared to excited. Calm to anxious. It's a beautiful mess. Feel happy that you have people who love you enough to plan and save up to travel to your destination to support you on your big day. Feel sad that others just couldn't make it. Go ahead and allow yourself to be scared to say I do, but feel excited that you're ready to take on such a huge challenge. Finally, feel calm enough to smile and take in the moment, but anxious enough to want to get it over with run down the aisle to jump in your lover's arms. 
  • Don't: Have expectations. Well have a little, but don't expect them to happen. As I like to say, hope for the best but expect the worst. When I got engaged I envisioned me doing the harlem shake down the aisle  slowly walking down the beach in bare feet to an acoustic Zac Brown Band song with perfect hair and makeup. All eyes on me and Mitch. You know what happened? There was another wedding directly next to ours on the beach, I had to wear flip flops so I didn't get beer bottle glass in my feet, and a huge wind storm practically knocked me off my feet as I walked down that darn wooden beach entrance that tore up my dress. No one could hear our vows and my hair and makeup was donezo the second I stepped outside. Embrace.
    
    

    

    *Note: the shape of the palm trees and grass. This is me saying 'mom I can't walk my dress is stuck' and her saying: 'Well, shit.'
    
    

    
    

    
    

    
    
    
    
    

    
    

    
    

    
    

    
    

    
    

    
    
    

    
    

    
    

    
    

    • Do:  You did it! You're married! woohoo! Now relax and take realistic, natural looking photos! It's not easy. Emotions are still running high, trying to take it in that you're now a Mrs. (or a husband) and you get quickly ushered away from your friends and family to go take some expensive, professional photos. I will add that this is the one thing I'm glad I splurged on because to me, there's nothing more memorable than photos and you want them to be perfect. Back to the point. Ask your photographer if it's okay to take some time to chill before you dive into the photoshoot. We had to drive to a state park to take our photos so that was my time to kind of look out the window (at a monsoon outside thinking oh shit this better stop.) and chill. I also planned ahead and knew I would need to relax after the wedding so I brought my iPod and a little speaker so that I could play some fun music during the shoot. I think it worked out well....
      
      

      

      Photo by: Filda Konec Photography

      
      

      
      

      
      
      

      • Don't:  Be afraid to share your ideas with the photographer. Most of the time you want to be told where to stand, how to pose, etc. But throw your own flare in it! We originally planned to only take our photos on the beach but then I saw this enchanted looking forest nearby and brought it up to my photog who loved it! Your photographer should be very open to your ideas and you should be very open to share them. You will be happy with the results, I promise. :)
        
        
        
        
        Honeymoon:
        
        
        •  Do: Splurge on activities you normally wouldn't do. We stayed in Key West for our honeymoon extravaganza and planned a dolphin trip, sunset dinner cruise, trip to the aquarium, all kinds of expensive fun stuff! To me the honeymoon is the best part of getting married. One of the most valid excuses to blow your money and go all out. You just endured an emotional roller coaster, let loose baby!
        • Don't: Go to a tropical place during rainy season. From our wedding day until the last day of our honeymoon, it rained. and poured. and stormed. and was cold. In all honesty, it sucked. Our dolphin tour got cancelled, there was no sunset on our dinner cruise, and we couldn't enjoy the outdoor aquarium because it was so rainy and cold. Had I known June was rainy season down there, I would have planned my wedding for a winter month in a heartbeat. Rain is good luck though, right? RIGHT!?
          
          

          

          
          
          
          
          
          
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          Destination weddings are fantastic. They really are. They are the epitome of a grand adventure. If you thrive in chaos and crave excitement then this is the type of wedding for you. There truly isn't much I would change if I could go back and re-plan my wedding. My family got some great belly laughs at how windy my ceremony was, I got a nice refund on my credit card from the cancelled dolphin tour that really helped with moving the following week, and most of all, I discovered how there's something so rejuvenating about riding on a moped or sleeping in a hammock in the pouring rain. With all of the rainy days we were forced to stay cooped up in our hotel majority of the time but you know what? That was my favorite memory from the entire trip. Running around getting groceries as a married couple and cooking dinner in the hotel room. It was the first calm, peaceful moment that we could stop and sit in silence and say hey, you're my husband and I'm your wife. You ready for this adventure?
          
          

          

          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          

          I leave you with some shots from my perfectly imperfect Key West wedding. Please, if you have any more questions about planning a destination wedding, e-mail me or leave a comment! I would be over the moon thrilled to help you out.

          

          
          

          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          

          

          Hey kid, listen up. Don't have your wedding in Key West in June.